I’ve been stressed out this week. Since Monday I’ve been studying for APs, and now that it’s over I feel a lot better. Throughout my studying, I knew that Mother’s Day was coming up, and I was trying to think of what I would do for my mother and how to celebrate with her, but studying has gotten in the way of that.
I was supposed to interview her, but things just got in the way: when I wasn’t studying, she wasn’t home or was busy. In any case, the closer it got to Mother’s Day, the more obvious my reason for interviewing her would be, and I wanted this to be a surprise. So, instead, I’m going to answer the questions for her.
But before I do, I’d just like to say something: I love my mom. To say she’s been taking care of me for the past fifteen years would be a gross understatement; it has been much more than ‘taking care’. The kind of attention, nurture, love, and affection I’ve gotten from her over the years surpasses the general role of a mother. She has made so many sacrifices for me, has helped me with so much, has shared so much wisdom, that I don’t know how I’m ever going to thank her. I owe all my everything to her.
Age: ageless (that’s what she’d say) Age in Photo: early 20s? Name: Jennavive
Are there things about motherhood that are hard?
Maybe. Maybe it’s hard to make me breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day, to cook food for me every day, to take care of me every day. Maybe it’s hard to work all the time, and when you’re not working be taking care of your own mother, and giving your attention to me while you do all of that. Maybe it’s hard to do everything around the house and be the one who has to do the most brainwork for the family (I’m sure it is). But you’re good at it - you make it look graceful and easy.
What were you looking forward to when you first found out you were going to be a mother? What did you most fear?
You told me you were looking forward to a son, which you did not receive, but I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to have as much fun with a boy as we do? You were probably looking forward to taking care of a child, to giving them everything you didn’t have in your childhood and more (which you succeed with), and showing them the love that your mother showed you in the way she took care of you (which you surpass). Your biggest fear was probably being a good mother, and trust me, you had nothing to be afraid of.
Who were your celebrity crushes when you were a teenager?
What were you Jaded about at fifteen?
I don’t know. Maybe your situation? Maybe growing up without having much and having to make do with poverty. Or maybe sharing a room with your siblings.
Is motherhood what you thought it would be like?
I don’t think so. I think you’ve grown a lot since you had me. I think passing your wisdom onto me has taught you a lot about yourself, and you always say you learn from me. I think we have a relationship of reciprocity, where we share love and growth with every conversation and hug we share.
Not from mother to daughter, but just from black woman to black girl, do you have anything to tell me that you wish someone would have told you at 15?
I don’t know this one. There is nothing I can say, honestly, that I wish someone would have told me right now, because you say it all. You tell me I’m beautiful, you tell me to have integrity, to love myself, to love others, to express gratitude. You tell me how to deal with relationships and “humans” (as you call people, lol) and life. You tell me to stand firm, to carry the grace of queens, of Maya Angelou and Whitney Houston. (I don’t think I need to look anywhere past you for a woman whose grace, knowledge, and character I need to emulate.) I don’t know what you needed to hear when you were fifteen, but here’s what I would have told you: you’re going to blossom into a beautiful, creative, almost perfect woman. You’re going to be an amazing mother and set an example for a daughter who questions if she will ever fill your shoes. Everything is going to be okay. The circumstances of your childhood will not stop you from transcending into a powerful, spiritual, elegant black woman.
Thank you for being my mum. :)